Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Beard.

Over the past year and some change I have been challenging myself in any way my own brain feels it needs to be challenged. What I mean with that is that I sometimes notice things about myself needs improvement and I feel it necessary to fix it. Last year I realized I forgot a lot of things all the time.

One way I have tried to defeat my forgetfulness is to constantly write things down and always look back to what I wrote so that I keep stuff fresh. That worked fine but I realized I needed to start my day fresh with certain things on the forefront of my thoughts. I came to the conclusion that I needed to hold my core beliefs in mind every morning regarding my manhood.

I had read an article about two years ago regarding the state of modern men (My apologies but I forgot what article it was...no joke). It stated that nowadays physically adult men don't have that single defining moment where they are told or feel they have stepped the line from childhood to manhood. I fortunately noticed that about myself and had to meditate on my experiences to notice that I've had several. I just needed to act like a man in order to really let those experiences shape me into a better person.

I started reading artofmanliness.com a while back and came across an article regarding cultivating a set of core values that I believe in in order to be a man. I took some time from my life and really honed in on that things I believed in. And then forged those beliefs into something that will always remind me of that moment in time when I decided to always be a gentleman. I grew a beard to always remind myself every morning that I am a strong willed man...but to also remind myself I have much to learn.

My beard for the past year has been my very own totem of strength and curiosity. My very own beacon of manhood. I grew it and over the past year have been fortunate enough to learn more about the type of man I wish to be. It has turned into a friend. Something in my life that has been there when I stumbled into a dark room of my mind that I have stored something painful away in and needed immediate assurance that things will be okay and to face my fear head on. 

I told myself I will keep it for only a year. I almost done with my time with my beard, I will miss it's enormity and friendship. I will definitely miss the compliments and cheers I have received. As much I want to keep it. I know that I have used it as a tool of healing. And like any instrument that heals...you cannot have it on you...like a bandage. So at the end of this month I will be ripping away my comfort and one of the single most amazing things I have created.

I cannot wait to see what my mind will do now that I do not have my crutch. I am scared, excited, and sad. The coolest thing about it is that I can grow it out whenever I find myself in a rut. I almost fear that moment in life. For that will be rough times.
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